Oh, the Tyranny of Distance

Every summer, there are a number of concert series throughout the city of New York. River-to-River is a good one that features all free shows (I think). I remember seeing Rahzel & The New Deal perform together at one of their shows a few years back. Last Thursday, I hopped on the train and headed down to Battery Park to catch Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, described in The New Yorker as "heroes of the underground." I should have known, though, that the underground splits into numerous subterranean caves. While some of the inhabitants seem familliar, much of what's out there does seem foreign and uninviting.

Thursday, I found myself knee-deep in just such an underground body of water. A veritable sea of twenty and thirty somethings, reeking of for-the-sake-of-irony irony and malicious, self-serving condescention. Please don't stop reading, though, before you understand that I'm not trying to rag on the awesome Ted Leo & the Pharmacists. They were brilliant.


And the show was great. They played a terrific set, mixing old standards with all-new material. According to whitestrpsrock (since I'm horrible with Ted Leo+Rx song titles):

Heart Problems / New Song / Me and Mia / Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone? / New Song / Hearts of Oak / The One Who Got Us Out / Counting Down the Hours / Little Dawn / New - "There Goes My Brain" / New - "Gimme the Rock" / Annunciation Day/Born on Christmas Day / Bomb. Repeat. Bomb. / New Song / Bottle of Buckie / The Unwanted Things / Who Do You Love? / The World is in the Turlet / New - "Last Days" // Timorous Me / Hybrid Moments (Misfits cover) / Fisherman's Blues (The Waterboys cover)

While the stage was a little low, killing the view for anyone farther back than the third row, I did get a couple shots (of tiny Ted).


But back to the subject at hand, what pissed me off were the folks. I've never been more creeped out by a sub-section of society. Not by the punks, not by the goths, not by the preps.... Here's an exchange I overheard at the show:

Guy: Someone left a message on my myspace saying I should come to California and bring the whole band along. I checked her profile and our band is listed as her NUMBER ONE FRIEND!

Girl1: OMG.

Girl2: What a loooser!

Guy: I know!

All: condescending hipster laughter

Fuck a pack of ungrateful hipster musicians. Long live Ted Leo & the Pharmacists.

"I, Like, Cry, When I Listen to It, It's So Good."

That quote, of course, comes from the ubiquitous entity you and I know as Paris Hilton, regarding her own CD, which was released about three weeks ago.

Mayhaps you've also heard of the great prank pulled in record stores throughout the UK. It's now confirmed that the guy who did the mix on the fake CD is none other than Danger Mouse, of Gnarls Barkley, Gorillaz & Grey Album fame. Word is, fake CD's are going for bank on eBay as a collector's item. While I couldn't get my hands on one of the doctored CD's, I can offer the following, in addition to the photo set linked above, to help you make your own bootleg of a bootleg:

1. A video of the prank, for instructional purposes:


2. The Danger Mouse mix, upon request, to burn onto CD yourself (sorry, it's too big to upload directly)

3. And finally, the motivation. While I don't deny that Paris' first single, "Stars Are Blind," is a nice, catchy pop tune, I do have beef with the degree to which she plays off its originality. She totally ripped off the beat from Blondie's "The Tide is High," and that part when she sings, "Why shouldn't we be with the one we really love?" is just an amped up version of Debbie Harry beginning, "I'm not the kind of girl..." Listen to the songs! Tell me I'm wrong!

Exhibit A - Paris' song.

Exhibit B - Blondie's song.

You Know What I Think Of When I Hear "Pitchfork"? The Devil.

This morning, Pitchfork Media released the top 20 from their weeklong countdown of the 1960's top 200 songs. To save you some time, here's the top 10:

1. Beach Boys - God Only Knows
2. Jackson 5 - I Want You Back
3. Sam Cooke - A Change is Gonna Come
4. Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
5. Beatles - A Day in the Life
6. Ronettes - Be My Baby
7. Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice?
8. Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues (Live at Folsom Prison)
9. The Who - I Can't Explain
10. Desmond Dekker & The Aces - Israelites

Ever since Annie's Anniemal made their top ten albums in 2005, I've always suspected Pitchfork of being closet pop fans. Filling their countdown with Beach Boys and Phil Spector songs only further perpetuates the whispers and behind-the-back shittalking from yours truly. How much you wanna make a bet: In 40 years, when Pitchfork, or whatever bastard offspring it hatches, decides to do a similar countdown for our current decade, Kelly Clarkson's gonna make the top 10.

I know lists are really subjective and mostly fun for the writers themselves, but Jesus, there are so many things wrong with this one, I don't even know where to begin. Bah.