2006: A Retrospective

Jerome's Top Albums:

10. Georgia Anne Muldrow - Olesi: Fragments of an Earth
Singer/songwriter/poet/producer/rapper Georgia Anne Muldrow's debut full length is filled with melodies and vocal stylings that may be unpredictable and unconventional, but the music is fearless and strangely engaging.


9. Killer Mike - I Pledge Allegiance to the Grind
Balancing hustling anthems with biting social commentary, Killer Mike takes no prisoners on this double disc monster of an album. Utter frustration with the current state of the game (be it rap or politics) has Killer Mike heated and with PATTG, Killer Kill has finally put out the sort of passionate and brutally honest music to match his fire and intellect.


8. The Roots - Game Theory
The Roots album I've been waiting for (or perhaps am settling for) since Things Fall Apart. The music finally sounds urgent and focused. (Props for bringing Malik B back into the fold too).



7. El Michels Affair - Shaolin Series 1, 2
As if the XM Radio live performance earlier this year featuring the Wu backed by El Michels Affair wasn't enough, Truth and Soul records decides to press these gems featuring El Michels interpretation of Wu classics. Bottom line: absolutely face melting material here.


6. Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury
Though the beats don't quite knock as hard as they did on Lord Willin', Pusha T and Malice have finally added a layer of vulnerability and paranoia to the drug raps they do so well, rendering HHNF a compelling character study of two of the drug rap game's most revered kingpins.


5. Various Artists - Soul Jazz Records Presents Tropicalia: A Brazilian Revolution in Sound
A vibrant and informative anthology, Tropicalia exudes the blissfully anarchic spirit of Brazil's Tropicalia movement of the 60s. Also, props to Soul Jazz for including some reading material on the movement with the CD.


4. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
As epic as the album sounds, Return to the Cookie Mountain's highest achievement might just be the bits of pop hidden under all that heady atmosphere. Impressive AND likeable you say? Ditto.



3. The Game - Doctor's Advocate
Left for dead by damn near everyone from his circle, the west coast's veritable lone soldier The Game re-ups with a banger of an album. Name-dropping be damned, the beats knock while Game desperately hurls lyrics of fury at those spitting on his name and those prematurely shoveling dirt on his career (guilty).


2. Ghostface Killah - Fishscale
Sounding hungrier than ever, Ghost spits over fitting beats with the vivid soul and swagger to masterfully weave Fishscale's elaborate drug game narratives. This is the album that cements Ghostface as drug rap's proverbial slang operator. Fuck a Hip Hop Honors award show. Get on dini's level.


1. J Dilla - Donuts
A revealing and captivating look into the mind of a notoriously low-key beat genius in his last hours. Hip Hop, in all its youth has never, with the exception of perhaps 'Pac, quite captured these sentiments the way J Dilla has on Donuts.


Enoch's Top Albums:

10. Thermals - The Body, The Blood, The Machine
In comparison to 2004's Fuckin A, the music's more complex, the lyrics are smarter, and yet, they don't miss a beat with the punk intangibles. This is the "American Idiot" Green Day should've made.



9. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
If one were to strip this album to its basic elements and released both an instrumental album and an a capella album, either disc would still be stronger than most of the shit that came out this year. In its current, grand form, it should come as no surprise that Cookie Mountain is omnipresent in end of the year lists; it is simply amazing.


8. Ratatat - Classics
Classics may sound a bit too similar like their eponymous debut, but hell, if it ain't broke, why fix it? Plus, the riff in "Tropicana" sounds like it came straight out of the Beatles' White Album.



7. Cat Power - The Greatest
Regardless of what the title was intended to mean, calling one's album The Greatest tends to elicit fairly high expectations. Cat Power, with the help of the Memphis Rhythm Band, does not disappoint. There's something for everybody, too. If most of the album is too uncharacteristically cheerful, check out "Hate" for that classic flavor of Cat Power melancholia.


6. Emilie Simon - Vegetal
While simultaneously squeezing out the score to the original French version of March of the Penguins, Ms. Simon turned Air's "Playground Love" into a full-length album and turned the sensuality up to 11. The beats and vocals are so fucking sexy that Vegetal should have a parental advisory sticker on it.


5. The Walkmen - A Hundred Miles Off
The Walkmen, one of the most bitchin' rock bands to emerge in the last five years, is consistent in one sense: they haven't written a bad song yet. Thankfully, the guys have moved out of the garage to make a serenely beautiful album that sounds perfect under a Tahitian moon.


4. We Are Scientists - With Love and Squalor
First, they get the easiest riffs. Then, they get the catchiest hooks. Then, the rest, as they say, is Scarface. Joke-album or not, With Love and Squalor has been one of the most enjoyable albums of the year. Plus, these guys have a wickedly funny website (warning: it can evoke a few WTF's along the way).


3. Pretty Girls Make Graves - Elan Vital
Is it possible to make a follow-up that is both more pretentious and more fun? PGMG invented the Kool-Aid martini, so suck on that.




2. J Dilla - Donuts
One expects to begin listening with a heavy heart, but the only word that can be used to properly describe this 44-minute experience is joy. If this is Jay Dee's legacy to the world, then he's already guaranteed to live forever.



1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
At least four songs have be argued for as being the next "Maps." Five were considered to be the follow-up to "Y Control." Eight have been seriously contentioned for their universal appeal as radio singles, and that's only because the other three are too gangsta. That's just how they roll.


Juliet's Top Albums:

In no particular order... [Sidenote: As I'm writing this, most of my cds were stolen. I still have two of the following cds so it's helped to have them to listen to; the other three I will pull out of my ass from what I remember of them.]

Cursive - Happy Hollow
I'm grateful they have kept so many instruments in the wonderful Saddle Creek Records fashion. Hell, after reading about them going on indefinite hiatus, I'm just glad they're back. For me, the song to put on repeat was "Bad Sects" (can you say an awesome, twisted, indie rock ballad?); I just love Tim Casher's crooning.


Brazilian Girls - Talk to La Bomb
Dance, dance, dance, strip! Honestly, I didn't like this album when I first heard it, but it slowly grew on me. It's edgier and jazzier than their other albums. "Never Met a German" and "All About Us" are my favorite songs.



Blood Brothers - Young Machetes
These guys blow me away when I see them live. Young Machetes is an awesome follow up to Crimes (my favorite Blood Brothers album of all time), as they continue to experiment with rhythm along with dizzying lyrics. Think of really good hip-hop gone screech super fast in young white guys (I understand that is a really bold statement to make, so hip-hop elitists, feel free to school me). I never know what to expect with these guys, and if you were to listen to their albums in the order they were produced, it's amazing how these guys continue to grow musically.


TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
My newest infatuation, I can't get enough of track 5, "Wolf Like Me." It's soulful, experimental and has wonderful beats that makes me want to learn how to play the drums (or go and buy a drum machine). The lead singer's stage presence reminds me of Saul Williams' live energy. They were one of the bands people talked about but took me forever to finally listen to, and I hate myself a little more every time I think about that.


Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat
I have been obsessed with this CD since it's been out. Thanks to my friend Doreen, I am a HUGE Rilo Kiley fan so when I heard she was doing a solo album, I was a little hesitant to hear it (I can only think of bad examples in both pop and indie bands that have disappointed me). The album has the right amount of songs that do Jenny's voice great justice. It's one of the few where everyone at my work (the coffee one) can agree to listen to. Jenny and the Watson Twins' voices are a match made in heaven and I look forward to more music by the trio.


Jerome's Top Singles (in no particular order):

Killer Mike "That's Life"
Lil Wayne "Stuntin' Like My Daddy"
Flying Lotus "1983"
Gnarls Barkley "Crazy"
The Game "One Blood"
E 40 feat Keak Da Sneak "Tell Me When to Go"
Snoop, Dre, D'angelo "Imagine"


Enoch's Top Songs:

10. Emilie Simon - Opium
9. Nine Black Alps - Cosmopolitan
8. The Pipettes - Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me
7. Dresden Dolls - My Alcoholic Friends
6. My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade
5. Tapes 'n Tapes - Jakov's Suite
4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Dudley
3. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts
2. Pretty Girls Make Graves - Pyrite Pedestal
1. We Are Scientists - Textbook


Bobby's Top YouTube Videos:


I swear I decided to compile this list before Time featured YouTube on their person of the year cover and I admit that what made me decide to post today was a Boingboing writer's top 5 picks (the Maury pickle clip??). Though YouTube has been around for close to 13 months already, it's already hard to remember what the internets was like before it was around. Anyway, here they are:

10. 12 Days of Christmas just slipped in at 10 a couple nights ago when it was featured at the end of a boingboing year-end list (go figure). Just passing on the message.


9. A Special Christmas Box made it in in the eleventh hour. You can thank Enoch for this one. And NBC, for the uncensored version that was set loose on YouTube.


8. Noah Takes a Photo of Himself Every Day for 6 Years arguably isn't much about music and more about one guy who (if this is for real) is seriously bad ass. All the others who also did this (but posted later than him) must have been seriously pissed off when he beat them to YouTube.


7. Cop Ghost Rides the Whip had me scratching my head the first time I saw it on James' blog... and laughing on the floor after I finally understood what ghost riding was. Just wikipedia it if you need to.


6. Asian Backstreet Boys consisted of two guys lip-syncing in a dorm room. Their outfits matched and the third guy playing counterstrike in the back never once turned around.


5. Little Superstar is an awesome clip from a Tamil movie featuring a shirtless dude dancing for the amusement of a reclining man and a bunch of amused children. He even does the move Fatlip uses in his "What's Up, Fatlip" video when he's trying on clothes.


4. The Best Guitar Hero Video Ever is close to being the best video ever -- of 2006. Pizza suit, double-neck guitarhero controller, superfluous effects pedal, star power, go.


3. Canon Rock by Funtwo is video of a guy in a baseball cap playing a super clean version of Pachelbel's Canon in D that was arranged for electric guitar by a Taiwanese dude named Chris C. While other Canon Rock YouTube videos might contain performers with twice this guy's feeling, you'd be hard pressed to find one that is as smooth as this one.


2. Canon Rock 2 is an adaptation of the Chris C arrangement that Funtwo used. It is clear that this young asian man was sent to YouTube by the gods of shred in order to rip Canon to bits and give him a seat in the Canon Rock Hall of Fame.


1. Lazy Sunday was hailed as a glimmer of hope for a dying SNL when it first aired and later was hailed as a new benchmark for viral marketing. If you missed seeing or hearing about this video, you just about missed 2006.


Enoch's Hall of Fame (The Inaugural Class):

Ash - A Life Less Ordinary
Spiritualized - Ladies and Gentlemen, We Are Floating in Space
Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen in Love?
Weezer - Across the Sea
Elliott Smith - Say Yes

Expect these songs on every single compilation I make for everybody.

RIP, Mr. Dynamite

James Brown, 1933-2006

There was a badass BMW Films video involving James Brown renegotiating his contract with the devil, to whom he was said to have sold his soul early in his career. Here ya go:

...With the Words "Justin Timberlake" Six Times for Some Reason

Following the grand tradition of such SNL Digital Shorts as "Lazy Sunday" and that one with Natalie Portman cussing up a storm comes the newest installment of "Not Ready for Primetime" (re: sophomoric) badass-itude: A Special Box, starring Justin Timberlake and, as always, Andy Samberg.

In other Justin Timberlake news, early Monday morning Pitchfork Media released its Top 100 tracks of the year, and Justin Timberlake sits atop the list with his boy, T.I. Is the song that good? Listen for yourself:

Justin Timberlake & T.I. - My Love

UPDATE: Want to win a chance to sing a duet with Justin Timberlake at the Grammy Awards in February? Read all about it here.

Justin Timberlake.

It COULD Ever Be This Good Again

In 1997, the Foo Fighters released their second full-length album, The Colour and the Shape. At the time, I thought it was fucking brilliant, except for one extremely overrated sore spot. One song was overplayed, was way overrated, and quite frankly, bugged the living shit out of me. The song I'm referring to is "Everlong."

Nine years later, six of which was sans radio, I've been hit with an epiphanous hammer. This song is really fucking good! To be fair, though, it is a lot easier to appreciate a piece of art when one isn't being inundated by its ubiquitous presence via the logic behind "heavy rotation." Anyway, not only is the album version great, it sounds great acoustic, it sounds great live, it sounds great in a house, it sounds great with a mouse...

Anyway, Dave Grohl, you win this round, you bastard.

Dave Grohl - Everlong (acoustic on Howard Stern)

Kinda Secret Snow Patrol Pre-Sale Info

If you're going to be in Los Angeles on Friday, March 2nd in the year Anno Domini 2007, you might want to check out Snow Patrol at the Gibson Amphitheatre (formerly Universal Amphitheatre) in Universal City.

Taking that one step further, if you're planning to be at the show and want to get tickets, like, super-fucking early, i.e. Wednesday morning, click this Ticketmaster link. The password is "EYESOPEN." It's without the period, but that's grammatical correctness for you. The presale starts at 10 am.

It's going to be exactly like this for about an hour before the midgets come out and dance around Stonehenge.

How Hippies Celebrate Christmas

Just about every year between 1990 and 2006 (the only exception being the absence of a 2005 album), KROQ's Kevin & Bean have released a charity Christmas album filled with crappy Christmas covers and hokey-ass schtick. The 2001 album was more or less the same shit with two notable exceptions. First, the cover had porn stars. Yay.


More importantly, though, the album included a beautiful rendition of "Someday at Christmas" by Remy Zero. The song was particularly apt considering the compilation was released only three months after September 11. I don't think I've ever heard a song that so flawlessly captured both the heartache and the subsequent hope that emanated at the time.

What I didn't realize until a bit later was that this song was originally released as a single by Stevie Wonder in 1966, right before hippie culture's climactic "summer of love" the following year. Did Stevie Wonder invent the hippie anthem? Well, no, because first of all, he didn't write the song, and "Blowin' in the Wind" preceded it by about four years. I just mention this as a weak transition to the following: read Chuck Klosterman's article about Ali and rap.

Remy Zero - Someday at Christmas

Stevie Wonder - Someday at Christmas

Oreo coo-meh....

I'm trying to throw up as many entries before I subject myself to corporate purgatory and self destruct like F150's forthcoming album...speaking of which, Fiddy had the following choice words for Oprah in a recent Elle magazine interview:

"(She) started out with black women's views but has been catering to middle-aged white American women for so long that she's become one herself. I think the idea of being publicly noted that she's a billionaire makes [black women] interested in seeing her views. But it's even more exciting to the demographic of white American women she's been aiming at to see that she has the exact same views that they have."

Wait a minute? Oprah a jiggaboo but not fiddy? Isn't this the same dude who's music caters to suburban white kids in America (albeit through a veil of "street" cred, but come on...all that is out the window especially when you do interviews for Elle magazine)? Isn't "Get Rich or Die Trying" all about selling out by any means necessary?

And well...I was going to spend this entry pointing out why: 50 cent=Oprah=Oreo cookie. But I'll just leave at this: do the math, son.

Besides, its a celebration bitches: Prince Paul is producing the next Souls of Mischief album.

The Beatles, remixed by the ...Beatles?

The surviving Beatles members have gone back to the master tapes and put out "new" versions of many of their hits. The album is called Love. Intriguing. Check the website for audio clips. What makes this different from a remastered best of album? Boingboing says that the tracks are mashups of the originals, including elements from other tracks... but personally (and this could be because I'm listening to 15sec samples) most of the tracks just sound like remastered versions of the same old songs. Maybe after I get the album and listen to it in its entirety, the new bits will be easier to spot/more obvious?

Notable and awesome exceptions: Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise) and Drive My Car, which are gold. Don't suppose they'd be putting out instrumentals of these?

Flying Lotus "1983"

Hate to keep beating a dead horse but...Flying Lotus "1983". Peep it. Cop it. Thank me later.

Behind the front

My fallout with Black Eyed Peas front man and producer will.i.am dates back to the group's 2000 effort "Behind the Front" where it became blatantly obvious, through their appearances in Target ads and the like, that the Peas were itchin to go Pop. That being said, I don't have a problem against an artist or group striving for mainstream appeal, its just that when they do, it is often at the expense of their music's quality. It would be no different with the Peas as they would continue to put out rap tailor made for Walmart and as a result we all have will.i.am to thank for "Where is the Love?", "My Humps", and Fergieliscious...

But lately, will.i.am has been making some noise in the internet rap geek circles (guilty) by lending his production to the likes of Bustah Rhymes ("I Love My Bitch"), Too Short ("Keep Bouncin'"), and more recently The Game's "Compton", Nas' "Hip Hop is Dead", and Common's "I Have a Dream". It would seem impossible that the man behind "London Bridge" (don't front, it knocks) could team up with The Game for some bangin' gangsta boogie.

But really, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise. Sure BEP gets a lot of shit for making shamelessly sell out albums but peep the group's early work as Atbann Klan (they were then signed to gangsta rap icon Eazy E's Ruthless Records though their album Grass Roots was never released), their first major label album "Behind the Front", or even will's BBE instrumental album "Lost Change". The beats on these projects are vintage will.i.am: there's nothing really intricate going on but the tracks ooze an organic quality that isn't afraid to show its pop tendencies.

Maybe it just took rappers other than the Peas to rap over will's beats for people to take notice. But seriously, for all this hype over Jay Z coming out of retirement, The Game dropping "Doctor's Advocate", and The Clipse's "Hell Hath No Fury"... maybe will.i.am is the real story of this year in Hip Hop.

Your First Official Coachella 2007 Update

It's a doozy, too. Next year's festival will up the ante by becoming a THREE (3, III, 三)-day event, running from Friday, April 27th through Sunday, April 29th. The first artists to confirm are Rodrigo y Gabriela, LCD Soundsystem, Cornelius, Hot Chip, Oh No Oh My and Digitalism.

Depending on who you're asking, the bigger story concerns the weekend following Coachella. On May 5-6, the Empire Polo Grounds will host a country music festival, also promoted by Paul Follet and Goldenvoice. Some of the artists already lined up include Willie Nelson, Lucinda Williams, and Emmylou Harris.

Early details of both events can be found via Billboard. Jesus, I just hope those country people don't show up on the wrong weekend.

And let the jacking of hotel prices begin... now.

Plug for Jerome

Hey, everybody, do the following four things:

1. Click on the link.

2. Click on Media Categories (General).

3. Click on Music Website of the Year.

4. Vote for Prefixmag.com. Jerome moonlights between here and there, so show him some love.

While you're at it, feel free to vote in some of the lesser categories, like Album of the Year or whatever.

Shh, It's Still a Secret

In the past two weeks or so, three major hip-hop albums have been leaked onto this little thing we call the inter-web. The three albums in question are:

1. Jay-Z's "Kingdom Come," his first album out of "retirement." Jesus, even with a hiatus he's still dishing these things out faster than the Beastie Boys.
   
2. Snoop Dogg's "Tha Blue Carpet Treatment," a clever play on words relating both his celebrity status and his affiliation with a large, Los Angeles-based violence gang.
3. Eminem's "Get the Guns," which may or may not be his forthcoming official release.

Don't tell anybody, but the album's are still available on torrent sites. Just for fun, take a look at the covers.

Jay-Z's:

Snoopy's:

Although the Eminem album cover is still in limbo, I'd assume it would look something like this:
Just a guess.

I Swear, It's Just a Guilty Pleasure

As much as it embarrasses me, I have to admit that My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade is a pretty decent album. The only excuse I can offer is that the bitch-factor is overshadowed by the A Night at the Opera-ish concept and grandiosity. I'm still not cool with these guys wearing make-up though. Too much eyeshadow makes 'em look like whores.

My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade

An Issue Near & Dear to All Our Hearts: Piracy

"Seattle: Cop Killer."

Here's some funny banter from the TV on the Radio show in Seattle this past May. I'd include a music track too, but EZ Archive is acting, and will probably continue to be, stupid-retarded until version three-oh drops in November.

TV on the Radio - Seattle's Motto (Seattle live)

The Return of Chinokk

Fellow cake-lovin' fat kid Bobby's comment about "Cowboys from Hell" being "so goddamn beautiful" (he's right) just reminded me that Guitar Hero II will be released in less than three weeks, and the track listing's already out.

For those of you who don't know, Bobby and his girlfriend crashed with me for a couple of days this past spring, and the three of us unlocked every song on the original Guitar Hero on an evening fueled by pizza, brownies and cans of Squirt. As you can probably surmise, we're both now diabetics but nonetheless stoked about the sequel's release. I've already agreed to ship a copy over to him in Taiwan.

Anyway, I wanna talk for a minute about the tracklisting, according to Wikipedia. Here it is, in case you have something against clicking on links:

1. Opening Licks

• Mötley Crüe - "Shout at the Devil"
• Danzig - "Mother"
• Cheap Trick - "Surrender"
• Wolfmother - "Woman"
• Spinal Tap - "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight"

2. Amp-Warmers

• KISS - "Strutter"
• Nirvana - "Heart-Shaped Box"
• The Police - "Message in a Bottle"
• Van Halen - "You Really Got Me"
• Kansas - "Carry On Wayward Son"

3. String-Snappers

• Foo Fighters - "Monkey Wrench"
• Alice in Chains - "Them Bones"
• Iggy Pop and The Stooges - "Search and Destroy"
• The Pretenders - "Tattooed Love Boys"
• Black Sabbath - "War Pigs"

4. Thrash and Burn

• Warrant - "Cherry Pie"
• Butthole Surfers - "Who Was in My Room Last Night?"
• Matthew Sweet - "Girlfriend"
• The Rolling Stones - "Can't You Hear Me Knocking"
• Guns N' Roses - "Sweet Child O' Mine"

5. Return of the Shred

• Rage Against the Machine - "Killing in the Name"
• Primus - "John the Fisherman"
• The Sword - "Freya"
• Thin Lizzy - "Bad Reputation"
• Aerosmith - "Last Child"

6. Relentless Riffs

• Heart - "Crazy on You"
• Stone Temple Pilots - "Trippin' On a Hole in a Paper Heart"
• Stray Cats - "Rock This Town"
• The Allman Brothers Band - "Jessica"
• Jane's Addiction - "Stop!"

7. Furious Fretwork

• Anthrax - "Madhouse"
• The Living End - "Carry Me Home"
• Lamb of God - "Laid to Rest"
• The Reverend Horton Heat - "Psychobilly Freakout"
• Rush - "YYZ"

8. Face-Melters

• Avenged Sevenfold - "Beast and the Harlot"
• Suicidal Tendencies - "Institutionalized"
• Dick Dale - "Misirlou"
• Megadeth - "Hangar 18"
• Lynyrd Skynyrd - "Free Bird"

Aside from the obvious mullet-metal goodness, I'm really looking forward to the Stooges' "Search and Destroy." The first time I heard that song was in 1992, when Nike used a Red Hot Chili Peppers' cover version for one mighty badass Barcelona Olympics commercial, and it's been inspiring me to break shit ever since.

Iggy Pop & the Stooges - Search and Destroy
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Search and Destroy (from The Beavis and Butthead Experience. Who knew, right?)

On a more somber note, I can already foresee "Institutionalized" as being "Cowboys from Hell, Pt. 2." I mean, have you heard that song? It's going to suck ass!

Random Fact: soulwhatisitworth was thisclose to being a video game blog. It probably would've gone by a different name, though. Like "donkeypunch kong" or something of that nature.

Live and Let Die?

Has anyone seen Axl wear anything else besides this in the last three years? It's starting to get creepy.

Chuck Klosterman, in his review of the highly anticipated, 15-years-in-the-making, Guns N' Roses album, Chinese Democracy, opens with the following:

"It's been a long time since Guns N' Roses have released an album of new material. Everybody knows this, but it's a fact that bears repeating. If you purchased a kitten on the day that Use Your Illusion I & II arrived in stores, it's probably dead by now."

He then reviews Chinese Democracy and gives it a B, which would have been a good enough grade to convince me to torrent the album, if not for the following fact: The review is a six-month old April Fools' joke, and in this reality, the album still hasn't seen the light of day.

Granted, I'm not the world's biggest metal fan, but I have become enamored with the aesthetic/decadent nuances of the genre. Blame it on the Darkness' jumpsuits and all the crazy cocaine stories on VH1's "Behind the Music." I also can't get enough of the part in "Welcome to the Jungle" when Axl goes, "nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-knees, knees!" The possibility that the band has new material which can potentially outdo lines like that has me positively intrigued.

As such, I propose some sort of accountability. Therefore, tomorrow, I'm going to adopt a Malawian baby, and whenever he's shipped over here, I'm going to feed him like a king. Then, I'm going to lock him in a basement and starve him until whichever Tuesday Chinese Democracy drops. Think of the children, motherfucker.

---------------

Okay, I felt terrible writing that last bit, so here's plan B: I'm going to adopt the baby and let my mom raise him Chinese, something she's always wanted to do as a grand social experiment. I guess we'll just see if the album comes out before li'l JaMarcus Chang goes to college. Whatever.

NYTimes: "According to the MTV website..."

Er... you ever get the feeling that the web-based counterparts of the print newspapers rush a little bit too hard sometimes? Fabolous got shot in the leg today. In the NYT article attributed to staff writer Josh Holusha, the final (background/anectodal) graphs read:

Mr. Jackson, a native of Brooklyn, became famous in late 2001 with his debut single, “I Can’t Deny It.” According to the MTV website, his rapping combines the East Coast “bling bling” and West Coast “gangsta” styles.

In New York, he was considered a successor to Christopher Wallace, known as Notorious B.I.G., who was shot to death in 1997.

Why is the Times drawing from the MTV website? Er... Well at least at a full(er) NYT article (sans mtv citation) followed. Staff writter Emily Vasquez decided to clean up those final graphs for a more succinct, cleaner feel:

Mr. Jackson, raised in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn, became famous in late 2001 with his debut single, “I Can’t Deny It.”

Word.

P. Amiyumi

How much music do you have to like from a certain genre in order to be considered a fan of that genre? What if it's only a couple artists? Can I still sign up? No? Oh well.

Anyway, while I may not be a big fan of the genre as a whole, the J-Pop group known as Puffy Amiyumi in the west (and simply "Puffy" here in Asia), is one of my favorite groups. In fact, after Jamiroquai, Puffy holds the most real estate on my CD shelf. I guess that has to do with three things, mainly: the largely US-based (at the time) P2P community that significantly hindered attempts to grab tracks for free, a trip to Taiwan in the summer of 2002 (blowing new taiwan dollars on CDs), and the wonder that is the SF Amoeba.

Puffy is Ami Onuki and Yumi Yoshimura. 2006 marks their 10th anniversary. Here in Taiwan, they've long since been marked with one-hit wonder status and relegated to a forgotten decade (the 90s). In its (Taiwan's collective subconscious) defense, it is pretty hard to keep track of all the Taiwanese, HK, Japanese, and Korean - Pop acts arriving and departing from the shelves of the local record stores. You'd have to be super oldschool (like Teresa Teng) or super white (Rod Stewart) to really have staying power.

The two thirty-something j-pop stars have been doing a pretty decent job of putting out music that's fresh and different from album to album. I guess it could be the clever shenanigans of some behind-the-scenes producer to breath new life into a Puffy that is loosing steam in their native Japan... But it's also cool to give the two women the benefit of the doubt and speculate that they are maturing and evolving as a group. The past couple albums (Nice from 2002, and the new Splurge) have done a nice job keeping off the saccharine synth/midi drum loops in favor of some tasty guitars and drumkit. And while the 2004 album, 59, slipped under my radar, I'll be getting that soon.

Off of Splurge:
"Tokyo I'm On My Way" (music and words by Dexter Holland of The Offspring)
"Basket Case" (the bonus track on the asian release of the album is this Green Day cover)

Akin to Searching for the Holy Grail

What is the greatest pop song ever written? Today, I try to tackle this question by first providing a context which supports the answer I've already come up with while I was driving home from work earlier today.

Pop music, in the broadest sense of the phrase, was born in the 1950's as a way for teenagers to differentiate themselves from their blues- and jazz-lovin' parents, but not from each other, mind you, because that would make them outcasts, and thus, prone to ridicule and ostracization from their peers. Today, pop encompasses pretty much everything you hear on the top 40, soft rock, alternative/hard rock, R&B, oldies, and hip hop radio stations, among others I may have forgotten. Let's just say that if one is cashing checks from Sony Music and/or have shot a music video, then homey's pop.

So how does one separate the weak from the strong? A decent pop song usually includes the following components:

1. A catchy hook that more or less identifies the song. Think the opening riff to "Seven Nation Army," or Master P slurring, "Uhh... na-na na-na."
2. Lyrical content including one of the following:
• Summer loving, in which the artist had a blast.
• Sunshine, lollipops, or anything else of equal value in asininity.
• Any other kind of love that probably didn't fare as well because it took place during a less loving time of the year.
3. Most importantly, the best songs are timeless and relatable for the listener. Take it for what it's worth.

There have been a lot of "greatest" lists lately, many of which with diluted criteria, including some world-changing requisite or letting Q Magazine's retarded readers determine the results. How is this any different? The fact that I'm writing independently and for limited readership allows me to make wilder claims with much less liability. So without further ado, the epitome of the last 50 years:

Big Star - Thirteen

Every element of the song is stripped and so simple that it's impossible not to relate to the innocence of teenage love. The Ronettes' "Be My Baby" came really close, but the Big Star line, "Would you be an outlaw for my love?" just blows it out of the water every time. Sorry, ladies.

Some good cover versions:
Garbage - Thirteen
Elliott Smith - Thirteen

And just to prove that I did put some thought into this thing, here are some other songs I considered:
Beach Boys - God Only Knows
The Beatles - In My Life
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
The Turtles - So Happy Together
... and a few others. I should really write these things down.

...like a fat kid loves caca...

Kweli fenna drop an electric cicus on y'all too!

Best believe George L. got this stable on lock.

Skate Bored P been bitin this man for some time now but really ain't touchin him on the vocal tip (and perhaps...on the production tip??).

Talib Kweli big ups Nick Cannon for representin Hip Hop the way it should be?? Granted Kweli was the featured guest on Cannon's Wildin Out when he made the comment... Kweli then proceeded to deliver an okayplayer-diaper-soaking shit sandwhich prewritten battle rap aimed at the cast. Still ain't shit w/o Hi Tek.

Flying Lotus. Nuff said...peep 1983.

STEP YA BLOG GAMES UP!

Q: What Happens When Nobody's Favorite Music Store Goes Out of Business?

A: Meh.

Tower Records, which was just purchased on Friday after filing for bankruptcy a second time in August, has begun liquidating all its inventory. This is obviously good news for the consumer; at 10-30% original sticker price, we'd now only be paying slightly more than we would at a decent record store.

To the new owners: shit, guys, good luck unloading all those lowrider compilations and copies of James Blunt's Back to Bedlam.

Plug 1, Plug 2...

Count Bass D's Act Your Waist Size. Review is up.

Takin My Ass Back To Taiwan: The Mudder Fugger Punker Version

During one of my strolls down the Taipei alleys in 2003, I came across this tiny shop selling punk rock memorabilia, shirts, and CDs... sure the clothes and arm bands bordered on Hot Topic but I was excited nevertheless to have come across a piece of the Taiwanese underground scene.

After schooling me on the likes of Op Ivy and Minor Threat, the store clerk recommended me Spunka, a local band specializing in...well punk and ska. I'm not sure if they are still around (Bobby?) though I suspect they have disbanded as there is no trace of the group online. A lot of this sounds like Op Ivy and Rancid, the lead singer(s?) gets the grunts and growls down and Taiwanese mixed with a dose of fobby english makes for gibberish lyrics (but then again who really gives a fuck about the lyrics with punk rock). Much of the music sounds like college kids fuckin around and aping their favorite groups. The typical 3 chord progressions are there, the loud thrashing, and even some trumpet action makes for some good ol angst ridden "mudder fugger punker" rock:

(I've lost the CD case so I don't have the song titles...bear with me as I make them up)

1. Spunka "Da Ge Ho"

2. Spunka "Every Day Work"

3. Spunka "Pappy Mao"

update: dudes...I am GEEKED about this Bad Brains DVD. Oh and it wasn't until I ejected the CD that I realized the band name is "Spunka" not "Punk Ska"....must be one of them "Punk In Drulic" moments....

You're My Inspiration

Last night, We Are Scientists and Art Brut played a fairly magnificent show at the Music Box at the Henry Fonda Theater in Hollywood.

I missed most of the Spinto Band, but the last two songs sounded pretty good. Maybe next time.

If you've never heard Art Brut's music before, it's a combination of cock rock melodies and lead "singer" Eddie Argos pretty much talking to the audience. Formulaically, it takes a bit of charisma to pull it off, and let me tell you, he's got a buttload of charm, especially when he's preaching life lessons to the kids. Example: during "Emily Kane," ad libbed lyrics include:
"If Jay-Z were in the audience
He'd grab me by the arm
And he'd say to me
'Eddie Argos...
If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.'
And I'd say...
'Jay-Z, I don't appreciate your mysognistic tone,
But I see where you're coming from."

By the time We Are Scientists came onstage, I was feeling a little bit under the weather and was just trying to stay conscious long enough to hear them play "Textbook." It was totally worth it. The repetitive nature of their songs make for either a really fun sing-a-long or can irritate the shit out of you, depending on the track. Though I will admit "Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt" is a great way to start a set, the banter and songs 2-5 did leave a little to be desired. Yeah, we were pretty much out the door after "Textbook." Good times.

Here are some highlights from previous Art Brut & We Are Scientist shows:

Art Brut - Emily Kane (Vienna live)

Art Brut - My Little Brother (Vienna live)

We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt (Seattle live)

We Are Scientists - Textbook (Seattle live)

Takin Yo Ass Back To Taiwan

Hi, from Taiwan. Had to chime in here with a couple youtube videos. The first vid is a music video for a song called Taekwondo (跆拳道) by Stickyrice (糯米團) and the second is a music video for Miniskirt (迷你群) by Wonfu (旺福). Ironically, there are no miniskirts in the miniskirt vid. Both bands seem to ellicit "oh, I remember them, they're pretty funny" remarks.

So if you're into the less serious brand of indie rock:

Takin' Yo' Ass Back Down to Chinatown

Bjork, eat your heart out.

I've always had a wicked fascination with Asian pop, partly because of my yellow blood, but mainly because at times American music has become so sensationalized in terms of artists trying to be the baddest, craziest, or scariest of all motherfuckers in their respective categories that genres such as J- & K-pop are simply a breath of fresh air.

One such artist I've discovered is Sue, a photo-shy Taiwanese lounge singer with an impressive set of pipes, as heard on her debut album covering Chinese and American standards. While her Chinese songs are damn-near flawless, listeners might tend to snicker at her somewhat thick accent in her renditions of such pop classics as Patsy Cline's "Crazy" or the Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody." It's not as apparent as William Hung, and consequently, it's not as funny either.

Sue - Something about entering and exiting a country, I guess. We'll just call it... Track 3

Sue - Unchained Melody

Fuck A Title

"Kanye, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Where the fuck are the other "bloggers" on this site? I mean damn... Seems like the only people that even bother postin shit are the people that consider staying in on a saturday night downloading the latest hipster hot garbage album grinning at the thought that only I...I mean "they" and like 5 other people online know about this album as having a life...but I digress.

So Kanye and Jay Z warned us about Lupe Fiasco's imminent reign and with the leak/release of Food & Liquor, critics and "conscious" rap heads have joined the bozak ridin badwagon... but no thank you. I'm having trouble buying into the poindexter skater image. People acting like a black dude who raps, skates, and is articulate is some out of this world shit (and he's a devout Muslim!). For all these things that make him stand out, I can't listen to FL without thinking about where I have heard the flow or beat before... frankly, the shit makes for some boring music...not to say that Lupe doesn't drop a couple of gems here and there but still...zzzzzz.... critics keep stressin how refreshing Lupe is given the current state of mainstream Hip Hop... so like props for less shitty shit Lupe. Honestly, I'd rather stick to my pimp cups, grillz, and stunna shades...

Who Belongs to This Song?

A couple of weeks ago, an apparent leaked track from the new Postal Service album made the rounds among the major music blogs. If you missed it, here it be: The Importance of Being

Then, yesterday, MTV News posted an article in which Postal Serviceman Jimmy Tamborello states the song "has nothing to do with me or Ben," and was probably an elaborate stunt by LA duo Northern Two to promote their own forthcoming album. AND THEN, those guys denied it as well.

Now that the mystery is starting to brew about, I can finally reveal the truth: I made the song. Yes, the Postal Service tag was a hoax to spread it like Mad Cow. For some reason, the comments left on blogs about Northern Two was also intended to further expose the song; it seemed like a good second step on paper. Finally, the climax of popularity, a mention on the MTV News site, the twelfth most popular in the land. Yes, I am the song's daddy. Please forward money to my paypal account.

Emily's Solo Joint

In the pervasive sense, Broken Social Scene is the Wu-Tang of Canada. With Kevin Drew playing a RZA-like role at the helm, the cast and crew consists of various musicians as Leslie Feist, Amy Milan of Stars (whom, like ODB, has a laundry list of a rap sheet stemming mainly from her penchant for snorting blow off a hooker's butt before shows), Murray Lightburn of The Dears, Jason Tait of The Weakerthans, and the Scenesters' own Method Man, Emily Haines.

While Ms. Haines already has a fairly extensive resume, having also worked with The Stills and Metric, she has yet to officially release a solo album, that is, until next Tuesday, when Knives Don't Have Your Back hits stores.

I've only been able to procure "Doctor Blind," which you can stream from her myspace, so I'll offer two of her greatest hits instead:

1. Broken Social Scene - Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Live at the Ottawa Blues Festival)

2. Metric - Combat Baby (Live at Coachella)

As a testament of good taste to her iPod on shuffle, a bonus song: Elliott Smith - Say Yes (Live at KCRW)

All this talk of the Wu-Tang has me thinking, "Hey, how about a Wu-Tang song?" Sure! Ghostface Killah & Raekwon - Daytona 500

I was kidding about Amy Milan's fetish for coke and ass.

Where does one band end and the other begin in this hastily Photoshopped picture? YOU DON'T KNOW! By the way, the bluriness on the right isn't some editing error; it's straight up smoke.

What the Hell is This, Chicago 1920?

NME.com just released an article stating that festivals may go dry, that is, without the presence of alcohol, "[a]s part of a crackdown on binge drinking among young people."

This is a fucking travesty of an initiative, if you ask me. I can tell you from personal experience that ever since I turned 21 and started hitting the beer tents, festivals have become a hundred times better than they were before. Despite the high markup on a plastic cup of Heineken, the subsequent amount of joy derived is well worth the price. If not for beer, I don't know I would've been able to last the first five hours of each day at Street Scene 2006. Beer saved my sanity and lent me some cash for some bombass eggrolls.

....

So, if you actually read the article and not react over the title like I did, you'll see this is only directed towards British festivals, in which case, I say, "Good." Festivals should be about the music, anyway.

Hide Your Children, Cover Your Asses

I've been meaning to update this thing all day today, but I seriously have a bad case of writer's blog (Get it? Hahaha! Puns are fun!), so I'll just share some cover songs, which, coincidentally, is probably what some artists do when they're going through their mental cockblogs (same premise, but still, 2 for 2!).

Don't let the irony blow your mind too hard.

Mock Orange - Only in Dreams (from a Weezer tribute album)

Ivy - Be My Baby (broken in by the Ronettes, taken for walks by many other bands)

The Automatic - Gold Digger (the song that should've won Kanye a Grammy)

Yo La Tengo - Hey Ya! (from the Outkast album in which instead of playing with each other, they opt to play with themselves)

William Shatner - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (you're probably going to have to be on some sort of psychotropic substance to really enjoy this one)


By the way, has anybody had a chance to listen to the new TV on the Radio album? I missed the torrent a couple of months back and still haven't had a chance to hit the record store.

Stop The Dumb Shit

PA: "Some dude just pulled up outside the venue and he's performing out of what we believe to be an ice cream truck..."

VMA show manager: "Who? What?"

PA: "I'm not sure yet... wait... he looks like the black guy in that movie with the mini coopers and Marky Mark."

VMA show manager: "Stay on that shot of Paris!"
(turns back to PA) "so he's an actor and he raps? is it Nick Cannon? Those shit heads at Wildin Out didn't tell me diddly squat about a street performance..."

PA: "no no... who is that...what's his name...Most Def! That's who it is!"

VMA show manager: "Who!?"

PA: "Most Def...the rapper/actor...he keeps shouting something about "Katrina Clap"."

VMA show manager: "What the hell is a "Katrina Clap"? (turns to the black sound man) Reggie, is this street slang for an STD?"

Reggie the black sound man: "..."

PA: "no no i think he is rapping about hurricane Katrina..."

VMA show manager: "Aw... (brief moment of silence and contemplation) Look I don't have time for this so call NYPD and get his ass out of there!"

PA: "Yes Ma'am."


So Mos Def pulls up in an ice cream truck and performs Katrina Clap unbeknownst to passerbies and teenage girls waiting outside the VMAs... aside from the hilarious part where NYPD rushes Mos and straight up bully him, who gives a fuck!? Really! Everyone up in arms talkin bout "GO Mos! Free Mos!!" how bout "better music Mos and less movies Mos!"...or "go home and feed your seeds Mos!"

Katrina Clap gets points for effort but the shit stanks of red black and green arm bands left over from the last Free Mumia march that ended with folks going home and watching BET and downloading a Talib Kweli ringtone cause THAT shit is revolutionary son.

Is the song effective? Does Mos have enough pop culture clout and relevance for ppl to even care about what the message is? No and for the very same reasons, I woulda payed to see Juve do the same shit with "Get Ya Hustle On".

"I, Like, Cry, When I Listen to It, It's So Good."

That quote, of course, comes from the ubiquitous entity you and I know as Paris Hilton, regarding her own CD, which was released about three weeks ago.

Mayhaps you've also heard of the great prank pulled in record stores throughout the UK. It's now confirmed that the guy who did the mix on the fake CD is none other than Danger Mouse, of Gnarls Barkley, Gorillaz & Grey Album fame. Word is, fake CD's are going for bank on eBay as a collector's item. While I couldn't get my hands on one of the doctored CD's, I can offer the following, in addition to the photo set linked above, to help you make your own bootleg of a bootleg:

1. A video of the prank, for instructional purposes:


2. The Danger Mouse mix, upon request, to burn onto CD yourself (sorry, it's too big to upload directly)

3. And finally, the motivation. While I don't deny that Paris' first single, "Stars Are Blind," is a nice, catchy pop tune, I do have beef with the degree to which she plays off its originality. She totally ripped off the beat from Blondie's "The Tide is High," and that part when she sings, "Why shouldn't we be with the one we really love?" is just an amped up version of Debbie Harry beginning, "I'm not the kind of girl..." Listen to the songs! Tell me I'm wrong!

Exhibit A - Paris' song.

Exhibit B - Blondie's song.

Where is the Love?

That's how my week in Vegas felt...but with considerably more tits n ass

The Roots' albums keep showing up in my collection somehow someway... and it definitely isn't because I am particularly looking forward to peeping their releases either. Granted they get my respect but the love for them deaded at Things Fall Apart and that was 4 jawns ago. After that they went and got all "experimental" (see: boring) and switched their lineup to feature the "new guy on guitar" (see: former studio musician) in place of "that other guy who used to play guitar" (see: demoted back to studio musician).

Yet somehow they (mostly that drummer guy with the afro) keep showing up on blogs, in conversations with white people who discovered hip hop in college, on tv shows, on critic's most anticipated albums of the year lists...and in my case logic.

Now I'm not sure if this is a product of hangin around okayplayer too much but the anticipation for their latest effort: Game Theory has been quietly brewing in my psyche. To be honest, the simple fact that Malik B would be back for this album was enough to quell my complaints about another boring Roots album with Blackthought rollin solo at the helm. I won't front, I checked out some of the cuts off the album and have been compelled enough to listen from start to finish. Promising...

So who wants to burn or send me a copy of their new album?